Famine's Notes

The latest News
In other news, I may finally be getting that vacation I put in paperwork for a few decades ago. Not a full vacation of course, I can't quite stop altogether, but more of a temporary release. Others will be filling in most of my duties, but my physical presence has to remain accessable enough to fill in the gap, so to speak.
It also means a few weeks spent solely as my alter-ego. Since I'll be topside, and wings on a humanoid tend to draw attention, I'll be doing as we all do and using a human form. We girls have fully developed alter-egos we use for this sort of situation. It comes with the rank. We do get a few privileges, after all.

The news from hell continues!
May 03 2008

I did it again!
http://www.myotherdrive.com/file/656.284117.27042008.55344.0008fi/April%2026%202008%20take2.mp3

Here's a few notes.
These past two podcasts, I've mentioned imps. Well, it seems like a good time to explain what imps are. Basically, imps are a little pieces of evil that have become sentient. Their greatest joy is annoying people. Not really all that evil, but definitely aggravating. No matter how many imps you squish, there are always more. They generally range from a few inches to a foot high, and are generally a single color such as bright blue or red.

I guess I have nothing really to say except...holy crap, it's been a week already?

New Hellcast

Maybe I'll have more to talk about later.

I was going to make an info post about some things, but it kept getting put off.
Then I got a chance to take over a brief news post.
Tremble in fear, for I have taken over the News from Hell!

*snort* yeah right.

The News for April 12

Finally stopped being sick...mostly. Paperwork is bad to catch up on, but at least mine isn't too overwhelming. I'd hate to see what Death's office looks like right now...or War's. Not that she usually ends up doing most of her paperwork, anyway. She and Vigilance will probably use it to start fires or light explosives or some such thing. We still haven't caught the person who let the diseases free, but we will. Just wait. Revenge will be sweet.

How can Famine get sick, you may be asking. Allow me to explain why I am down with the plague.
Each of our levels holds more than just our offices. To give examples, Death's level holds the hall of lifetimers and the autobiography library. War has a room with any weapon ever used represented, from the first onward, as well as a giant map of current wars and a records room of wars. I have a records room and display room for the great famines and abundances. Well, Pestilence's specialty room has bottles containing every disease, both currently in existence and those that have been defeated.
Well, somehow a good dozen of those bottles were broken a few nights ago, releasing the diseases inside. These aren't the pale versions you humans get, these are the originals bottled here. It took all four of us, along with some help both hellish and heavenly, to contain them. An angel, devil, or horsewoman is immune to everything else - but not these diseases. Which means that currently, Death, War, and myself have quarantined ourselves inside our living quarters. Pestilence wasn't affected that badly - she's sort of used to being sick. The rest of us are thoroughly miserable.
We don't know how the bottles got broken yet. None of us have been in any condition to check. If it was sabotage, though, whoever did it had better hope we never catch them. War may be best at violence, but that just means it'll hurt more as we practice, and Death is sure not to let you die until she's good and ready.

You know, it sucks being the responsible one around here. All the messes that happen around here, I end up dealing with. This isn't part of my job, people. Thank...something tomorrow is Mardi Gras. Yes, I will be spending the whole day at Hell-con again. I've been swamped, and no one is to come near me tomorrow if you don't have drinks or porn to offer, am I clear?

I feel I must apologize for the lack of office updates for the past...what has it been again? Week? I can't tell anymore. As you can probably guess, War didn't take the compromises nicely. Usually, she would have gotten over it quickly (relatively so), but we just found out about some major human rights violations taking place. Now, War can usually accept that sort of thing as part of her job. It doesn't really bring much joy to any of us (hey, we're the riders, it's our job to do this stuff, not yours). Most of us enjoy the perks - explosions and so forth. This has her steaming mad, and I ended up trapped in her office for the past week trying to calm her down. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go lick my wounds now. She doesn't mean to hurt the rest of us, but it happens. I heal quick. This won't take long.

Just got back from the big meeting. There's one every few months, a meeting between 'heaven' and 'hell', as it were. Good thing the first of the year one takes place a while after the actual first, is all I'm saying about that. It's all formal and dull, and can go on for days. We all meet between worlds and talk for hours. War usually gets to argue quite a bit, but mostly it's just rehashing old business. It is fun to bug the angels, though. Some of them aren't bad - like Michael (that boy spends time down here, he knows how to have a good time and loosen up) - but there are quite a few that are spending eternity with a stick firmly shoved up their asses. Walking around with their noses in the air, acting like they're better than everyone because they are 'in teh glory of heaven and teh lord and hallelujah!!oneelventy!' Yeah. Even the other angels mock them, but they ignore it. Don't ask me how. The Great Ones are actually pretty cool about everything. I'm sure I saw one of them facepalming over the angels. It was pretty funny.
We do all have standing invitations to each other's realms - the cool ones, at least. The Great Ones don't get a chance very often, and we don't either, but some of the cool angels and decent minions take the opportunity. The ones who don't have clearance try to look down on those that do, but it's kind of hard on them when those in charge so openly support it. Well, back to work I guess. The meetings always end up generating more paperwork as we ratify or veto propositions we brought up. I'd better go talk War into signing a few, or she'll veto everything she can. This is not going to be fun.

I love New Years sooo much. I drank way to much, but it doesn't matter. Hey, I'm Famine, remember? I can sober up quick. Still buzzed, though. Yeah...happiness.
The furry level is awesome to hang out on - there's a ton of drinking. Bet they're feeling it this morning. Maybe not, after all I do take care of some overindulgence. I'm not sure where the others spent new year's, but the sound of explosions last night gave me some idea of how War spent it at least. Vigilance probably helped, that boy loves the explosions. We'll probably find Death in a few days, still drunk off her ass. There's no work getting done today. I'm gonna go drink some more. Hey, Hell-con is never over. I'll enjoy it while I can.

I made it through another Christmas season. It's a busy time down here, with all the disparates going on that we have to deal with. All that overeating puts a lot of paperwork on my desk.

Vigilance is coming out of the tree now, since it doesn't provide much cover. Death is also emerging from her office. I'll be going to hang out on several other levels later, gotta get my New Year Partying started early.

I think I promised earlier to talk a bit about others here, and how things work. Let me think...I think I should say a little about my coworker, Vigilance. I've mentioned him several times know. You may be able to figure some things out about Death, War, Pestilence, etc, but Vigilance isn't traditional.

He's in charge of our information network. He tends to dress in camouflage and military fatigues, and armed with military weaponry. We don't get to see him very often - he tends to hide out in high places and just watch everyone and everything. He's good at his job.

When I mentioned the levels, I want to make it clear - the levels are divided by department. I have a level (the third), War has hers, etc. (Death - 1, War - 2, Me - 3, Pestilence - 4) In addition, there are levels devoted to different 'sins' and such. There's a level (12) devoted to lust, for example. It's those who don't deserve going to hell (usually) but don't want heaven. (No sex up there - they're very prissy about things)

I'll be spending most of my spare time over the next few days and New Year's Eve on Level 8 - the furry level. It's Hell-Con all year there, and they know how to party. The others have their favorite levels to party on, and that's mine. Gotta get rid of this paperwork first, though. Maybe I can hunt up some imps to help...

I gave up on stopping the carols, so...now I'm doing every annoying carol I can think of. (The Chimney Song, Santa Baby, etc.) This is fun...

I am so sick of hearing the Christmas carols already! I think if I hear one more, I'm going to...wait a minute.

Okay. Had to go punt an imp through the wall. It was singing. Again. I feel a bit better now. Stupid imps. They're everywhere around here, they're supposed to help us work but they forget things far too quickly. I'll probably have to punt quite a few more before they quit. Enough is too much here.

Do you know what sucks? Working in limbo during the holidays. Everyone keeps asking "where's your holiday spirit?" in that whiny little voice that just scrapes at your spinal nerves and it takes everything you have not to just smite them here and now. Isn't it a bit tacky for us to be celebrating around here, anyway? All the cheeriness is really grating .
I haven't seen Vigilance for awhile...I think he's hiding in the giant tree someone dragged in. I wouldn't be surprised, it's like him to stake out the highest point and use it for surveillance. Death's locked herself in her office (again)and Pestilence is hiding out who knows where. War's been changing decorations with her own idea of holiday decorating. Let's just say, the red color around here is a lot more natural than it was earlier. And someone...I have a fairly good idea who...keeps adding more mistletoe. I may end up taking a page out of Death's book and locking myself in my office soon. How do you humans handle this?

Hello there.
If you read my user info, than you know who I am. If you haven't, here's your brief recap.
I'm Famine, as in the horseswoman of the Apocalypse. No, we aren't planning on riding out anytime soon. Trust me on this, I've seen the paperwork involved in just a small excursion of all of us riding out as ourselves. There's no way we'd finish that pile in any amount of time you mortals would have to worry about.

Let's see, what to talk about today. Well, let's try what I do here. As I've said, I'm Famine. That means my main tasks focus on both the absence and the abundance of food. Confused? It's because we're in what used to be limbo. Yeah, your Catholics deciding that it didn't exist caused way more paperwork that I ever wanted to see. Death locked herself in her office for a month after that. You'd think all Death ever had to do was go out once in a while and make sure it's still working, but nooo they pile more paperwork on her than is physically possible.

I'm rambling again. That happens a lot. Just bear with me.

Turning neutral was hard around here. There were some of us that took it better than others. Death didn't like the idea of more paperwork...not that I blame her...but it did mean she got more staff to deal with it. We have got to get more techs down here, maybe we can finally update to get rid of it... War was not thrilled, to put it mildly. Explosions are her lifeblood. Since her opposite is peace, we mostly threw it onto Sleep to deal with. I don't think he's noticed yet. Pestilence is like me...it didn't really change much, and actually made our jobs more fun.

Well, that's enough for now. I'll have to post later, and introduce all of you out there to the cast we have down here. In the meantime, I hear Death calling. I think it's time for our weekly dig-Death-out-of-the-paperwork party. Ciao, babes.